DAY WITH MOMMY

Mommy said she would be home with me a lot again. I am glad, because I miss my brother Max and mommy's lovin. Yesterday mommy was gone most of the day, she said she had to get a fang taken out. I have a fang gone too, but I dont know when it came out. When she came home me and her layed around a lot. Her mouth smelled funny too.

Now she is getting treats every morning too, like Max used to. I get my treats still too, they make my back legs not so stiff.

Today mommy has been doing stuff all around the lair. She said this is what mommys do when they need to Heel. I dont understand it, because when she tells me to Heel, I have to be near her. So I am just staying close by and watching out for her.

I am being a good princess and making sure she does everything she needs to do to heel.

After she heeled all day, she told me I wasnt smelling too much like a princess. So we went outside and played in the water, while she rubbed me down with some smelly stuff. She said we could go for a walk to dry off and let my bed wash too. When we got home, we laid around some more. I like mommy being home. She even shared a treat with me.
BARK- Sasha the Princess!

MOMMY'S MONDAY

MAX- JUNE 2003 - SEPTEMBER 2009

I am a walking country song right now. I lost my job, then I lost my dog. Thank goodness my husbands faithfulness is only 2nd to my Lord's. Warning... get the tissues out before reading any further.

Friday I was laid off from my job. However, most of you can understand, it was NOTHING compared to the breaking of my heart knowing Max's time was coming soon. So I know it was a blessing from God to allow me time to mourn my sweet baby, where work would not have allowed such a thing (not paid, at least). So Saturday the whole pack went for a short walk together. Then Sunday morning, out of routine, I decided to do a short sniff just in the front yards of neighbors. Max's back legs seemed to be weaker and he almost fell when stepping down 2 porch steps. And they shook the whole time we were out. Of course that dang tail never stopped wagging. As I watched him the rest of the day he kept panting, which the internet says can be sign of pain. Then he has been going off to his safe place to sleep by himself, even during the day when we are all around. Doing the best to understand, I have to take that as his way of telling me, it is time.

This morning I took him for our regular sniffies. A little slower. Then I allowed him to cross the bridge with me again. Of course that brought plenty of tears, which Max didnt understand. We got a chance to lay down together and I loved him as if there were no tomorrow-- knowing there was NO tomorrow!

Later today we took him together to cross Rainbow Bridge. We were able to lay down with him and pet and hold him the whole time and tell him to watch for us to come join him someday. So it is with a broken heart that I will now say... Good bye Max. I love and miss you so much!

Love Mama!!!

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...

A WALK IN THE PARK

Our pack took a walk together this morning. Mom said it would make me feel better and I agreed with a tail wag. My paw hurts all the time, but when I can start getting some sniffies, I forget about the hurt. This is me, showing mom how happy I am to get outside.

Mom is pretty impressed with how fast I can get moving, with my hurt paw. She said I was a brave boy, because when she hurts, she just wants to cry and lay around like a baby.

A few times we have come to this bridge and mommy keeps telling me, we cant cross yet. I want to know what is on the other side, but she pulls me away. Today was different.

Mom told me it is now ok to cross the bridge, So we went over the bridge. She told me that some day I will see another bridge like this with lots of colors, and it will be ok to go over it then too. She said I will be able to run over it, without my paw hurting, so to not be afraid. And then some day she will run over it too to come see me. So we walked over the bridge together.

When we got to the other side, her and dad and sis all sat down with me for a little while. She said when I cross that other bridge, that someday we will all be able to sit like this together again. Until then she told me to be sure to watch for sis, and show her around until mom and dad can come over too.

Then her and dad closed their eyes and talked out loud. Mom petted me a lot and told her Father how much she loved me and asked for Him to please help me find the bridge so I will feel better soon.

When we got back to the lair, I felt pretty tired, so I went to my safe place and laid down. Mom said it was ok for me to lay where ever I want, as long as I am comfortable. She said she will keep checking on me and let me know when it is time for another sniffie walk and dinner.

PAW- MAX the Dude!

BEAR PAW?

PAW! One of my paws is growing. I know us Grate Danes grow real big, but my paw keeps growing, while the rest of me stopped. Mom said it is because of the cans her. She said it looks like a bear claw. It is sore inside, and Mom tells me not to lik it, because it may grow more. Mom says if I am a good boy and dont lik it, then I can go for sniffies. It is awfullee hard not to, so I only do it when she is not watching.

The doggie doctor told mom she can add more white things to my morning cocktail (that is what dad calls it). I really dont like the taste of it, and tried to tell mom to stop, but she forces me to swallow them. Sometimes I turn my back to mom so she will leave me alone. But when I see her eyes start to leak, I just give her a wag of my tail, and she smiles again. I dont like when mom's eyes leak, so I need to keep my tail wagging for her. Sometimes it is hard, but I will keep trying for as long as I can.

PAW! Max the dude!

NIGHTS OUT

Brother Max hasnt been feeling very good latley. Mommy said he has cans-her, and that he may not be living with us too much longer. Sometimes he doesnt eat all his foodies, and I want to help him. Then mommy gets mad at me for trying to help him eat his foodies. She says that he has to eat it himself. So I wait and wait. I dont understand why he wont eat it all, it sure is good. When he lays down he moves around a lot. Mommy said I have to let him have the comfy bed, so he can rest his leg. It is getting bigger and funny looking, and sometimes he licks it, but I stay real careful to walk around him when he puts it out, so I dont hurt him. Sometimes mommy goes for walkies with both of us. This seems to cheer him up and we get to sniff everywhere. Mommy walks a lot slower with both of us, but I like it so I can do a lot of sniffies. And Max seemed to be happier when mommy and daddy took us out the other night.

BARK! Mommy and daddy told us to climb into the big green machine and we went for a ride! My favorite! BARK! Max laid down right away, but I wanted to make sure daddy was protected, so I kept a close eye out for any doggies that may decide to attack the big green machine.

Mommy finally told me I could lay down and she would keep watch out, so I finally relaxed a bit.

They took us to a place with lots of hoomans around. It also had a lot of good smells. First daddy disappeared behind a door, then came out and then mommy did too. Later another hooman came out and put some foodies in front of mommy and daddy.

They told us we had to lay down and be good doggies while they ate their foodies. It was nice and cool outside and we could hear water somewhere close by. Max laid right down, but I had to make sure the surroundings were safe first. Finally I laid down next to daddy and kept a look out for any stay doggies on the attack.

Then last night, daddy was gone for a long time. While he was gone, mommy took us out to the back of the lair, laid down a blanket and invited us to lay down with her. Max had a hard time getting comfortable, but when mommy gave us our toys with Peanut Butter in them, we laid right down. She stared at a little square with moving hoomas on it for a long time. Then she turned it off and cuddled up with us. Just us and the water sounds from our big water bowl. Max seemed to really like this, because he calmed down and went to sleep for a little while. Of course, I stayed up and kept a watch out for any sneaky doggies coming to attack mommy. I had to protect her. Finally I got tired too, and laid down behind her with my head on her tummy. I could tell she was real happy. We laid like that for a long time, mommy had her arm around Max, and her other hand petted me. What a treat for all of us.

BARK! Sasha the Princess!

MOMMY MONDAY

OK, so it isnt exactly Monday, but I cant sleep and never have times on Monday to get on the computer anymore. So I figured the "kids" friends wont even know what day of the week it is anyway, right?

Max is still coasting along day by day. When people ask how he is doing, I always hesistate. What do they want to hear? Our common answer... "He is fine"? But inside I am screaming, "He is NOT fine! My baby boy is dying and I dont know each day how much longer I have!". No, I dont want to throw that at someone everytime they ask the question. So the common is response is "He seems ok for the time being". Then I get the sad nod.

This weekend I attended a Pet Loss Bereavement Class. I want to face head on what is coming and be prepared for what I will be facing. While discussing the many emotions of Expected Loss, one of the things they mentioned was Spontaneous Remission, which I recognized myself going through this past week.

During his early morning walks, Max seems to become more alert and his walk seems to get better. Oh, he still has a bit of a limp, but he takes longer strides and is eager to sniff everything he can drag me too. Yes, he still is strong enough to pull me if he wants to go in a different direction, or isnt done sniffing when I try to walk away. During those moments I can actually forget there is a cancer eating away his bone. This is what they call Spontaneous Remission. We think the dog is better or getting better. This is when I need to remember, it is most likely all the smells and change in enviorment that has uped his adrenaline enough to ignore the pain and explore as he likes.

Understanding this is going to help me to continue to be careful on his walks, and to not take him on "longer" walks, as I attempted on Friday. He did well on the walk, however, I could see how exhausted he was when we returned. He didnt even have the energy to go to his water bowl, I had to bring the water to him. He has been starting to eat a little less each day, sometimes barely touching his food. I was hoping it was due to heat, but that may just be a hope. Yesterday I pulled out a can of dog food, which we NEVER feed them, and both of them almost tackled me to get to it. I was able to put just a few teaspoons into his dry food and he licked his bowl clean. It seemed to wake up his hunger as he then went sniffing for more food. And he finished off his evening meal with no problem.

This brings us to a new question. How far do we go to get him to eat? If he doesnt want to get up to eat, do I bring it to him? Do I spoon feed him? I dont know. I am just facing each question as it comes. Our final answer will be the day he doesnt want to get up at all. Not even with the walking leash dangling in front of his face. That will be my baby boy telling me, "I am ready to go home".

Im sorry for the depressive state of this posting. Please forgive me for causing the Kleenex to appear. However, on this note, I also want to thank everyone who has read and posted on our blog, for all the support and encouragment and nice words. The class I attended this weekend, was back to back with a Pet Loss Support Group, which I stayed for. It was nice to have an enviroment to speak the words outloud that I am sharing on this blog and it was an honor to share with the group, what a fantastic community of pet lovers we have from these blogs. A human hug is the best, but hug comments do wonders just as good!

So to end this on a better note, I am now going out to hug and love on my babies. And hey... the sun is starting to pop it's head up, so I think I will also grab a leash and get all of us some fresh air and sniffies! Here is to a better week!

Love Sasha (The Princess) & Max (The Dude)'s Mom!

HAPPY DAYS

PAW! Max the dude here! Mr Darcy tagged me for a game? Me, not the princess? Can you believe it? Well, here goes:

6 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Laying in the warm dirt. Yes, this is just today. See how happy it makes me? Mom hates how dirty and dusty I get, but if it makes me smile, she is happy too.

Meditating on my bed. Lately it has been hard to get comfortable, and mom laughs at some of the odd postions I get into. But when I was laying this way, mom said she wanted to come lay right down next to me. I invited her, but she said I was too dirty.

I am happy when my sissy The Princess is calm. When she is calm, everyone is calm. Sometimes she lays right next to me, and lets me touch her with my paw. I knew if I stayed nice to her, she would finally be nice to me too.

I am happy that sissy finally gets treats in the morning too. Mom said it should help her back legs walk a little better. She waits like a Princess for me to get my treats, then takes hers too.

I am happy when mom takes me out for sniffies. Then she sits down and reads from a book and it seems to make her real happy. After that I get lots of loving. I am glad the book makes her happy too.

It makes me happy when daddy loves on me and plays with me. I dont know what this "cans her" thing is, but I am glad that mom and dad still play with me and nothing has changed. Dad can be pretty funny sometimes. It sure makes my tail wag!

PAW! Max the Dude

Note from mom: The growth on Max's leg is getting bigger, but his limping hasnt gotten any worse. The vet originally explained the growth as bone growing around the outside of the bone, to compensate for the inside deteriorating. We are not sure what all that entails, but keep going day by day. Max is a little slow when he gets up from laying for awhile, but is still eager to go for a walk, or play a tiny bit in the backyard, which makes my heart glad. We have no idea how long we have, but as long he continues to eat and get up, without showing any signs of pain, we will thank Jesus for a blessed day!