I just can't walk away from this blog. There is something therapeutic about coming back here and reading and re-reading the postings and comments. We made so many friends from all over. Just for kicks, today I checked the stats and was once again am amazed at where Sasha's friends came from. I can't believe how far she reached. I wish I could go to each place and give/get a hug personally.
We do miss our girl so much. Here are just some of the "triggers" that hit us at times:
- Walking through the living room, we still drift to one side, as if her bed is still on the other side.
- When the doorbell rings, there is not a crazy barking issue to address
- We still try to keep food put away, and start to warn the other if it is left out
- Coming home, we still listen for a "roo roo roo" from the other room
- We still leave music playing when we leave the house
- No more morning walks (not the same alone)
- Clean kitchen floor
- No fur bunnies throughout the house
- Sleeping through the night without any interruptions
- No "bombs" in the backyard
There are many more that just pop up. Recently we have gone for a bike ride and a walk. It felt odd to not be greeted by passerby's. Without our girl, we are just an ordinary couple (I hope that doesn't sound arrogant). My husband is going on a very short trip soon, and it just hit me, I will be coming home to a totally empty house. I haven't had that in almost 6 years. I am not sure how to prepare for that. Fortunately someone will be staying with me on one of the two nights he is gone.
I got the call yesterday that my baby girls ashes are ready to be picked up. We have already discussed the different places we want to let her go.. backyard, university quad (most of our walks and runs) and Monterey. Some of her ashes will go into a stone that we will make, so she will go with us everywhere we go. Along with her brother Max and sis Spike.
As I write this post, I have been interrupted 3 times by a Blue Jay that has been insisting on calling for his peanuts. The odd thing is that I have been feeding him for a couple years now, but for the past 6 months he has been gone. He just showed up again the past week or so. I don't believe in re-incarnation, but I do believe God sends us what we need for comfort, so I will thank My Lord for this small blessing and keep tossing the peanuts.
Thank you for sharing my journey-- Sasha's mommy--MindyLu
